For Want of Ten Seconds
by Zamael
Summary: There is a perfect day ahead for Fionna and Flame Prince, but it is unexpectedly derailed before it even begins by a little noise from upstairs - in no less than two ways at once, setting the stage for an adventure that, out of all the weird and bizarre shenanigans she has ever ended up in her lifetime, is probably somewhere around the middle in the level of weirdness.
1. Does or does not?

It was basically the most awesome morning Fionna remembered having had in any recent memory. She had woken up very early, feeling brisk, well-rested, and head full of ideas and desire for adventure. The weather was perfect, not a cloud in the sky, just the right temperature, and with a little bit of wind to further cheer them. Finally, Flame Prince had come over early to hang out, and they had spent a couple hours just making plans for the rest of the day, because this kind of a day required some planning to get the best out of it.

The final list took more than two thirds of the length of this first chapter of the fanfiction, and neither of them thought it was in any way unreasonable:

- Go to the Breakfast Kingdom, fight random encounters  
- Breakfast with the Breakfast Prince  
- Rescue the Breakfast Prince from the Ice Queen  
- Chase her away, shouting about how "we will meet again!"  
- Prepare for the next meeting  
- Fight random encounters and help the helpless on the way to Lord Monochromicorn's place  
- Pick up Cake and Lord Monochromicorn for further adventures, subtly and tactly refrain from inquiring what they did last night  
- Ask them about the "tiers" on the way to the Lumpy Space  
- Hang out at Lumpy Space for a while, save Cake from being turned into a Lumpy Cake  
- Storm is coming! Spend exactly eleven minutes fighting the storm elementals and negotiating with them about coming back tomorrow instead: today is way too perfect for rain and stuff  
- Pop by a store to buy some umbrellas to prepare for tomorrow  
- Consider hanging out at the Marshall Lee for a while  
- Decide against it because Marshall Lee is a jerk and no one in their right mind would want anything to do with him  
- Go hang out with Prince Gumball instead: he's so much more awesome and has a lot of inventions to show  
- Ask him about what's his story with Marshall Lee, try to get them to reconcile for whatever it was  
- Fail miserably on both counts  
- Go hang out with Tree Trunks with Mustache and Bow Tie (Male), have apple pie for lunch  
- Rescue Wildberry Prince from the Ice Queen  
- Deal with Magic Maid being a jerk, make her dispel the curses she put up  
- Go to Mars and learn Magic Maid's history from Mary Todd Lincoln  
- Be sad  
- Investigate the mysterious blue box that just showed up from nowhere on the countryside  
- Learn it's bigger from the inside, have a crossover adventure with the strange alien lady that lives in it, learn from her about the history of Aaa and humankind  
- Defeat surprisingly threatening pepperpot creatures  
- Go watch the sunset atop the clouds, have a romantic moment, have the moment be killed when Cake's phone rings  
- Bail out Cake Jr. from prison, lecture him about why crime is wrong  
- Check out the Couples Only Movies Night  
- Consider kissing Flame Prince, remember how the last time turned up  
- Just hold his hand instead (remember tinfoil!)  
- Have a romantic candlelight dinner, eat pasta  
- Shoo the Flame Queen from the candle  
- Watch the stars for a while, find patterns in the constellations, think about life  
- Try to not think about being the last human on Aaa, though  
- Find a mysterious portal to another universe  
- Go through, have a crossover adventure with the Avatar and her friends  
- Foil the plans of the Ice Queen and the Fire Lady, who had joined forces  
- Make friends, eventually bid tearful farewell and go back to Aaa  
- Take Flame Prince and Lord Monochromicorn home  
- Go home, talk with Cake about how awesome day that was  
- Sleep  
- (Optional: if anything else shows up during the day, adjust plans and add that thing in)

It was, indeed, truly the best plan ever for the best day ever. It took several pages and was very scientific and therefore legitimate.

"This is going to be so awesome!", Fionna said. "It will be the best day, and end up as the most awesome piece of fanfiction ever written!"

Then she heard the faint clank from upstairs. "Huh? That sounded like the window opening... I should probably go check it out before we leave?", she asked the Flame Prince, who just shrugged.

It would take her only ten seconds, and in no way derail anything else they had planned for the day... but it would still be kind of inconvenient and make a bit of a chink in the diamond of the perfect day. Would she take that ten seconds, or would they leave immediately?


	2. She does

"Back in exactly ten seconds!", Fionna exclaimed, leaping three stairs at once as she headed up, climbed the ladder to the bedroom, and checked the window. It was indeed open: there was no sign of whatever had done that. It took her five seconds to get up there and close the window - but during that time, she also saw something through it that made her frown. "Oh, butt."

Another five seconds later, she was back with the Flame Prince. "What's wrong?", he asked. "You don't look very happy."

"There's a storm approaching," she said, disappointed. "I saw the clouds. Doesn't look like we can go out in a couple hours at least."

"Aw, dangit," he said. "I guess so much for the breakfast plans, at least? But everything else we planned out can still work."

"Yeah. It won't be perfect anymore, though, which is a bummer... hey, maybe we can watch a movie or two on BMO?", she suggested. "Just to pass time?"

"Okay."

The storm was on them in three minutes. Fionna could go outside during one, and several of her adventures had been under heavy rain, but for the Flame Prince, what with having been literally made out of fire, it could very easily turn lethal.

And then, from the thunks heard as the "raindrops" struck the ceiling, and the ensuing look through the window, they found that it was actually not a rain storm, but a knife storm - which not only always resulted in all sorts of weird stuff happening, but also, according to the Flame Prince, made a complete opposite problem from water.

"I mean, have you ever tried to stab a fire? It just won't work."

"Ha." She smirked. "Prove it. Go stand outside if you think you can take a bunch of knives on you!"

He did. He spent a while dancing in the rain, laughing, before Fionna called him back inside to watch the movie. "Okay, I guess you can. Sorry for doubting you."

Then they took some breakfast and watched the movie. It was one of those sappy romantic films, with a lot of looking into eyes, arguing, making up, kissing, and so forth. The sort of stuff Fionna didn't much care about only a year or so ago - but then she had met the Flame Prince, which sort of changed her mind about the matter.

Most of the movie was spent holding hands, and later - with the addition of some more tin foil - they also cuddled. They both agreed it was a great movie, apart from the kissing bit, which got a wistful sigh out of them.

"I wish we could do that," Flame Prince said.

"Yeah," Fionna agreed. "I mean, I don't mind the bit where I'm burned - it's totally worth it - but the part where you melt the planet's core is kind of a downer."

"I do mind about burning you, too." He sounded sad, and a little regretful. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Aww. That's sweet of you."

The ensuing silence was only broken by the constant thunking as more knives struck the roof. It lasted for a while, them just holding hands awkwardly, before Fionna spoke again, smiling brightly:

"Hey, maybe Prince Gumball can help!"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I mean, he's a genius. He can do basically anything! I'm sure he could turn you into human or something else it would take to allow us to get closer without risking the planet, right?"

"I don't know..." He looked a little doubtful by the prospect. "He did ask my mother to close me to that lamp for most of my life. So I'm not sure how I feel about asking his help."

"Nah, he's totally regretting it and I bet he'll apologise as soon as we get there!", Fionna smiled. "You'll see."

"Ehh..." Eventually he relented. "...Okay. I guess he had a good reason for what he did, and I shouldn't hold any grudge against him. Let's go."

They waited out the storm, which lasted for a little while after that, then headed out.

"Huh...", Fionna said as she stepped out through the door. "Usually knife storms cause something really weird happening. I guess not this time."

* * *

"Huh...", Fionna said as she stepped out through the cave mouth. "Usually knife storms cause something really weird happening. I guess not this time."


	3. She does not

"Ah, nevermind," Fionna said, heading out. "It probably wasn't anything important anyway. Let's just go: first stop, Breakfast Kingdom!"

"All right!"

They laughed as they headed outside, to the pretty pristine air, and resumed running across the plains and, later, forests. With their pace, they had made a pretty good distance by the time the storm hit three minutes later, catching them entirely out in the open.

"There's a cave over there!", Flame Prince pointed. "We can take shelter there until the rain is done with us."

As they took cover inside the cave, the rain turned out to be instead knives, striking down and staying up in the grass ground right outside. It was a pouring storm: going out there would be suicide for Fionna, but apparently not for the Flame Prince.

She was about to make him prove it when they noticed that the cave continued on deeper, and decided that they had more important matters in their hands. Even if the rain disappeared to nothing right at this very moment, they would have an exciting cave to explore before breakfast time!

It ended up pretty dark and cold pretty soon, but thankfully Flame Prince was made out of fire, so it was never an issue for either of them. A little bit more of an issue was that it also got kind of narrow and bumpy, and they nearly tripped more than once - which easily got dangerous if Fionna happened to fall towards FP.

But it was all made totally worth it once they found what was at the end of the tunnel: "A dungeon door!", Fionna exclaimed, her mood instantly lifted.

The double door was made out of wood and stone, and was quite decorative and elaborate overall: clearly a lot of care had been put in its construction. There were runes written on its outer edges: "The Chamber holding the Keys of Time and Dimensions," they read. "They are _very dangerous._ Do not, I repeat, _do not,_ try to use them, or preferably even claim them. To open this door is to invite doom and destruction: do so at your own risk."

They opened the door and entered.

It was a pretty dark place, all over littered not with bones like in the last dungeon, but rather - to Fionna's delight and Flame Prince's chagrin - keys. The floor and alcoves were full of them, of different sizes and shapes, literally hundreds of keys, keycards, magical keystones, tokens, remote car keys, and other types of tools made for opening doors and chests and other things.

And of course, there were things to open them with, too: many boxes and chests of varying sizes were displayed for them, each locked with a different type of a key, keycard, or token. There was not a single piece of wall that was not also a door - indeed, even the floor and ceiling were made of doors!

"Oh Glob oh Grod oh Gob...", she squealed. "I-I know this is going to be really boring to you, but... can you please _not_ burn it all down right away? This is like, like the ultimate dungeon or something!"

Flame Prince just sighed, and graciously lit up the torch offered to him without Fionna even needing to ask. "You've got one hour. After that I'll take over. Like the last time."

"Got it!" Fionna leapt over to the pile of keys, happily, and looked through them to find something that would open something else. The doors all ended up containing rooms and corridors, again entirely made out of more doors openable with some other keys she could find feom elsewhere. The chests contained either minor treasure (gold pieces, bits of armor, minor magic items she didn't know how to use, etc.), even more keys, or were actually a mimic looking to eat her.

Any monsters they found were shaped or otherwise themed after keys and doors, all fairly easy to dispatch and carrying more keys on their person. The traps were a bit more deadly, but all of them could be unlocked and disarmed safely with the use of a key or two. Naturally, every single key snapped and broke as soon as they had managed to use it once, but seemed otherwise indestructible.

"Dungeon crawl,  
it's the greatest crawl of all!  
No crawl's too small..."

Flame Prince did not join the song.

Finally, the doors contained more runes, all of them to do with keys and time. They seemed to tell a story of their own, but it was pretty hard to make up as the two crawlers had gone to it in such an erratic and unscientific way, nearly always getting them in the wrong order. They spoke of time displacements, Choices (with a capital C) that could split a person in half and create divergent timelines, keys that could unlock the way across dimensions, and assorted cryptic nonsense. According to one, the very fact that this dungeon was accessible to begin with, instead of being safely tucked away to some bubble dimension between time, signified an approaching and inevitable doom.

"The key that opens a thousand locks is a master key, but a lock that is opened by thousand keys is a really poorly-made lock...", Fionna read out loud. "What is that even supposed to mean? Besides the obvious thing."

Flame Prince just shrugged. "Dunno. Your hour is nearly up, anyway."

"Hmm..." Fionna had an intriguing key on her hand, and she was pretty sure it fit to the very interesting-looking chest from before. And she still had several minutes of time. In the end, though, she shrugged and gave Flame Prince his permission. "You've been pretty awesome to tolerate me for this long. So, go ahead."

She knew well what would come next, and so, as her boyfriend moved forward with a fiendish grin on his face, Fionna herself stepped back and well out of the way to let him do his grim job.

It did not take long before the entire dungeon was reduced to an inferno of biblical proportions. Doors and gates were blown apart, chests and their contents melted away, the monsters ran around shrieking as they were consumed by flames - and in the middle of it all, like an ancient nexus of burning destruction, a small sun far too close to the planet, stood the Flame Prince, laughing.

"I am the prince of the Flame Kingdom!", he issued his challenge, "here to burn down the miserable hovel you call a 'dungeon'! Anyone that does not wish to burn with it, flee from my flames and hide into the little holes like the rats you are!"

They rose up to defend their home like the goo skulls in the Vault of Bones, and like the goo skulls, all were quickly incinerated. Anything that was left decided to bail it and stay out of his way. Fionna had a bit of a difficult time navigating across the burning, collapsing corridors, doors that functioned as the floor threatening to open under her, half-melted.

But at last, after scorching their way through many doors, many corridors, and countless key guards, they arrived into a larger chamber. It had no more doors in it, just runed walls, and at the other end, an altar with a chest on it. The chest was large, elaborate, and had three keyholes.

"Hmm." Flame Prince had calmed down significantly by now, his desire for destruction extinguished for the time being. "I guess I could easily open this one too, but want to give a crack at it? I think it's your turn again."

They spent the next fifteen minutes trying every key Fionna had (which was plenty) on each of the three locks, in the end successfully opening two out of three. Instead of going back to the burning dungeon for the third key, she just let Flame Prince burn through it.

Inside there were more keys.

"You have...", Flame Prince groaned. "..._got_ to be kidding me."

"Hold on, I think these are different somehow..." Fionna tried to pick one up.

There were three keys in total, all of them larger and more detailed than the others they had found so far, and felt tingly in hand. The first was pure white, with little rabbit ears coming out of it, and Fionna picked it up just fine. The second was red-orange, looking like it was carved out of a flame, and she could not lift it or make it move at all - but Flame Prince could. The third, light blue and apparently made out of ice, was cold to the touch and would not budge no matter how much either of them tried.

"Huh... I wonder who that one belongs to," Fionna mused.

There was also a map. A surprisingly up-to-date one of the world of Aaa, or the Ice Kingdom in particular. It had more stuff written on it: "Have your key, the one that has been displaced out of time. Here is the place where you will put it to use. Try and be responsible with it."

"Hmm..." She examined the key she had picked up, looking it around. "...I just wonder what this whole 'displaced out of time' bit means. I don't feel any different."

"Ehh," He said. "I just hope whatever these things will open will contain something more worthwhile."

"Yeah. And that we won't need that last blue key to anything."

"Yeah."

They left, and found that the knife storm had dissipated in the meantime. This was a good thing. Neither of them noticed the shadow that passed them by as they left, and the hand that grabbed the remaining key...


	4. The Displacement

It goes without saying, of course, that Prince Gumball was a genius scientist that wished only the best for his friends and subjects, and always tried all he could to that end - which was usually quite a lot. He was not perfect, and had made his share of mistakes, but when Fionna and Flame Prince wanted to be able to smooch without causing serious burn injuries or the end of the world itself, the first person they came to would be no other than the good Prince Gumball.

"Turn Flame Prince into a human?", he asked

"Yeah." Fionna nodded.

"Well," he begun to explain. He always liked to explain matters in a long detail, just to make sure everyone got it all. "I cannot actually change his shape, as that is a far higher science than anything available to me: at most I could do it to candy people. But what I can do is to connect his mind into another body, made out of flesh and blood. This still has its share of complications, however: human tissue is a different matter from my usual area of expertise (candy), and I would have to do something to your original body," he pointed at Flame Prince, "store it in a special location where it could not harm the planet even when you use your projected body to be intimate with Fionna. I think the best solution would be a machine made out of extremely durable steel, a power plant that could use the flames to generate energy and heat for the entire kingdom! Of course, this is all quite difficult to do, and will probably take at least five to eight months to build."

"Oh." Her disappointed frown melted his heart. He may not have always showed himself to be a too good of a friend to her, what with his responsibilities getting ahead of that: he wanted to make up for it. "I see... so, I guess we'll ask you again in half a year?"

"Oh, no need for that." He smiles. "I started to work on it right after the first time you nearly destroyed Aaa. It's pretty much ready: I was just about to call you in, in fact."

"Oh, okay." Both seemed rather more cheered-up by this revelation.

They went to the basements, and the power room, where he showed them the machine. It was truly a magnificent piece of art: a vast contraption of black steel, wires, and pipes, connected to the rest of the castle and through it, to the rest of the Candy Kingdom. One of the highest pieces of technology he had ever built: now all he needed was something to power it with.

"So, I guess this could be a good apology for, uhh, having your mother lock you to a lamp for most of your life?", he asked Flame Prince sheepishly.

"Well, it looks like you'll get something out of this deal too." He shrugged. "But sure. Apology accepted."

"Marvelous!", Gumball smiled. "All right, then, now if you'd just step in here..."

[What follows is more technobabble for several pages, which is not replicated here in written form because the audience has all fallen asleep.]

"...now KISS!"

[The audience wakes up. Welcome back.]

So. The Flame Prince was in the machine, visible through the glass door, and the entire thing just needed its first power-up. The human Flame Prince, a youth with a dark-brown skin and nearly black hair, was in the room with Fionna, looking at each other tenderly, about to... "Gumball, are you ever going to look away?", Fionna asked, exasperated.

"Oh, oh! I apologise... sorry, sorry... I'll just turn around and look at the readings..." He coughed and turned around, looking at the display monitor on the machine, which was another intricate and technologically advanced piece that- oh all right, fine. I will not bore you with the details.

Anyway, the readings soon leapt high, the lights around the machinery flared up, and it suddenly got warmer inside the room. Through the glass, he could see the Flame Prince's original body heat up and paint the entire interior orange of fire. Everything seemed to work well.

"Good job guys! Uh. Can I turn back around now?"

"Okay."

He turned around, and found the two in each other's arms, looking like they were stuck. They were not kissing anymore, at least. "We... usually have to use tin foil," Fionna explained.

"She feels so squishy and huggable."

"Right. Well... everything here is working okay. So you guys can go and look for some privacy if you like?"

"Okay!" And they left. It was easier said than done, because both absolutely refused to take either hand from each other's waist. So they just sort of inched upstairs sideways like a crab.

* * *

Meanwhile, as the now human Flame Prince and his girlfriend headed out to find a place where they can cuddle and make out in peace, their alternate versions, both sets utterly unaware that another one even exists, had made a good way into the Ice Kingdom and the fabled second dungeon.

There were not many people, or anything at all of interest on the way. Mostly because the Ice Kingdom was really cold and mountainous: about the only thing they saw was penguins and the occasional polar bear.

"Getting too cold for you?", Fionna asked, concerned. Flame Prince had spent some time now shivering and looking rather uncomfortable.

"Yeah, a little... I'll be fine, though."

"We can turn back if you want to. I really don't want to hurt you or anything: this whole thing isn't that important."

"Thanks. But I think I'd like to see this to the end, just what the entire fuss is about."

"Well, okay." She smiled in a concerned manner. "But let me know as soon as it's getting too far, okay?"

"Got it."

The cave they were looking for turned out to be a crack between icebergs. Beyond it, a small temple, nowhere near as big as the dungeon they had crawled through just a little while ago. It had its share of monsters: more keymasters, though they did not carry any keys, just tried to stop the two with their usual ineffective methods. Careful of not melting and collapsing the entire place, Flame Prince torched them down. "Good job." "Thanks."

There were no traps, though. Fionna thought this was boring.

Anyway, pretty soon they made it to the main chamber, which was this large room with a mysterious wall at the end. It was made out of pure ice, so much so that it reflected them like a mirror, although the reflections were... blurry, and kind of weird. Fionna's was shorter, for instance, and of a bit different shape with bear ears in her hat instead of a rabbit's.

There were three keyholes: one white, one orange, and one light blue. It was pretty easy for them to figure out what to do.

"Hmm. So, should I give mine a try?" Fionna gestured toward the white keyhole with her key.

"I'm just a bit bothered by those reflections... that one doesn't really look that much like me at all. What do you think?"

"Well, it's probably the ice blurring and distorting them." She shrugged.

"I guess."

"Also, I really hope we won't need that last key. Maybe all three open a treasure of their own?"

"Kind of makes you wonder what's in that blue keyhole, doesn't it?"

"Yeah. At least the other two we can actually find out."

There seemed to be nothing else to say, so she placed her key to its hole. "Here goes nothing!", she exclaimed excitedly, and turned it.

Reality blurred.

To Flame Prince, it felt as if the entire world was disintegrated and rewritten again. It was like the universe around him was a piece of paper, and now someone had set the paper on fire. Briefly, it felt like he could see everything at once. And several other vague illustrations of just how bloody weird it was what just happened.

In the end, as he came to, he stood up and watched with blurry eyes to something with a blue shirt, a white hat, and a sword.

"Fionna...?"

"Flame Princess?"

Finn and Flame Prince stared at each other for a few seconds. Then they screamed.


	5. The Unraveling

"This thing turned you into a _girl!_"

"What? No, you became a _guy!_"

"Uh."

They stopped shouting at each other and considered the situation. They looked at each other, then at the wall. "Right, so... what does this thing do? What just happened?"

"Well, I put my key to the hole, and..." He gestured the white key, almost identical to the one Fionna had had.

"Yeah, that's what Fionna did too. And then she wasn't here, and you were..."

"So, what's this thing then?" He looked at the wall again, tapping it. The reflection on the other side, taller than him and with bunny ears, tapped back as reflections are prone to do. "I guess it'd be some sort of a weird interdimensional transporter thingy... or whatever. That's pretty weird."

More as a reflex than anything, Flame Prince too put his key to the hole, and turned.

For a brief moment, reality was ripped apart once more, after which Flame Prince was gone, replaced by a smaller, female version of him. "Nice of you to join me, FP," Finn smiled.

"Yeah..." Flame Princess looked around. "So where are we? Everything looks about the same."

"Well, based on what we saw, I'd say we are where Fionna and Cake lived."

"Huh? Who're those?"

"Uh." He stopped: he had forgotten Flame Princess had never heard of the story, or even met its writer. "Well, there was this weirdo called the Ice King - I have mentioned him - who wrote this fanfiction where me and Jake were girls, because he's really really weird. I guess you just met a girl version of me before coming through?"

She nodded.

"Yeah, that was probably Fionna. So..."

They both turned to look at the third keyhole. The mysterious blue one, whose key none had managed to lift. "That thing's the same as in our world, too."

"Yeah." She looked around, shivering from the cold. "Do you think if-"

Her question was answered, before she could even ask all of it, by a sudden blast of chill and snow. To a human it would be a cold inconvenience at worst, perhaps requiring the change of underwear later, but the same amount thrown at a fire elemental was dangerous indeed, easily fatal if not treated. She screamed and fell down, extinguished.

"Flame Princess!" Ever the hero, Finn drew his sword and rushed at her, making sure she was all right, eyes darting around the room and alert for danger. But though it was his eyes that were expecting for trouble, it was the ears that first detected it: cold, feminine laughter, echoing across the room, as the creature came from the shadows and descended towards them.

He looked at it, and blinked. "...Betty?"

"Who?", Ice Queen asked.

"Nevermind." He drew his sword and charged at her, screaming. She just froze his feet to the ground, trapping him in place.

"So nice to finally meet you, Finn," she spoke, in an almost kindly voice, though her smile still had something unnerving about it.

"Huh? ...Wait, are you as crazy about your fanfiction than Ice King? What is even going on around here?"

"It's not just fanfiction!" Her smile turned into a snarl of anger. "It's something greater. It's a goal, a truth, a... something I'm at last achieving! It's..." She saw the human boy looking at her, confused: Flame Princess was still unconscious. "...You want me to explain? Is it okay?"

He nodded.

"It'll be pretty wordy again."

"Just lay it down on me," Finn said, stopping to hack away the ice trapping his feet for a bit. "This is really confusing and I want to know what's happening."

"Okay. If you want to. I'll try to be brief." She nodded. "This place is a portal to another dimension. But it's not a very good portal: it can't transport anyone anywhere if their home universe has a pretty good grasp of them. Which is most of the time. But not," she grinned, "if there were two of them! If they made some big Choice and caused a displacement in time, that split them in two timelines, then there'd be one too many and the gate could function for them! Get it?"

"Uh... no." He looked just as confused as before. "I mean, there's been some talk about this time disconnect or whatever, in the last dungeon and all... but I dunno. You'd think I would know about it."

"You cannot, because the two copies can never exist in the same place. So..." Ice Queen nodded. "...You made a big Choice today. Can you remember what it was?"

"Uh. No?"

"It was when you didn't go and close the window upstairs."

"...That's it? That would have taken like ten seconds!"

"Sometimes that is all it takes!" She cackled. "You see, it was I that opened the window and made a bit of noise." They looked at her. "Well okay, for you it was the Ice King," she corrected herself. "But I did it for Fionna and Flame Prince. At the same time, I got stuck in the same time displacement, meaning there are now two Ice Queens running around."

"O-kay..." He still did not quite seem to understand all of it. But he was kind of an idiot, and too young to figure most of these things. "So what was the point of all this?"

"What do you think?" Her smile went all the wider. "Now I can finally go to the world where I belong, where my beloved Finn is waiting for me! And at the same time, Ice King can come to this side and be with the Fionna he so much adores!"

Finn looked disgusted, but managed to swallow it. "Uh... I kind of already have a-"

"Just stay there for a while!" She no longer listened to him, but swooped past him and towards the wall, the light-blue frozen key at hand. "The other me will arrive soon: she's so looking forward to meet you...!" And she laughed as she turned the key in its hole, and reality buckled once more.

The laughter turned into a rather more masculine one, and quite a bit more pathetic.

"Ice King!" Finn growled at the bearded old weirdo that appeared. He was smiling happily.

"Oh hi, Finn! Don't mind me, I was just heading upstairs to meet Fionna. Wait here for a bit for your dream lady to arrive, all right?"

Finn gagged. "Look, I already have a-"

"Yeah, that's awesome, see you later!" He flew past him, beard fluttering, and up the stairs.

Finn was left alone for about three seconds, which he spent desperately hacking at the ice, and looking at Flame Princess for any signs of life and recovery. On the fourth second, another Ice Queen arrived.

"Hell-ooo, Finn!" She was attempting a youthful, seductive voice, but mostly she just ended up sounding really creepy.

"This is really messed up, you know that?" She did not seem to listen, instead preferring to come over and wrap her arms around him. It was like hugging a snowman: kind of soft, but really frigid.

He realized she was trying to smooch him, and turned away and pushed her back. "I keep telling you, I have a-"

"Oh, finally we can be together, my love! Come to me, and let us embrace until the end of ti-" She was cut off and replaced by a hideous scream of pain and surprise, and the heavy smell of burning hair.

"Stay away from my boyfriend, you _hag!_"

Flame Princess had come to. It was not entirely certain if she had been aiming at Ice Queen's tiara and missed, or was simply trying to hurt her face, but the end results were the same: an angry older woman preparing to hurl ice at a young girl.

It suddenly got pretty warm, as Flame Princess, probably reflexively, heat up the entire room as she prepared to defend herself. Thankfully, it was just the thing needed to negate Ice Queen's power. Before they could try and deal with it by clawing at each other's faces or whatever girls do when they fight, Finn knocked her out with the flat of his blade.

Flame Princess freed him with a simple fire, that melt away the ice from around his feet. "Can we go now, Finn? I don't think I much like this place."

"We need to go and pick up Ice King first."

* * *

Meanwhile, the Candy Kingdom was getting uncomfortably hot. According to the calculations, the power plant was now generating heat with more energy than three suns. It said something about its builder's genius intellect that it could still withstand such power.

"Oh my goodness!", Prince Gumball exclaimed. "I wonder what Fionna and Flame Prince are doing?"

* * *

Whatever Fionna and Flame Prince were doing, in the privacy of the tree house, was derailed by a knock on the door. "Go away!", she shouted from the bedroom. "We're trying to have a moment here!"

The door opened anyway. "But it's me, Ice King! The love of your life, finally reunited with you!"

"...What?"

Fionna came downstairs, her clothes kind of ruffled-up and poorly-fit, to inspect the intruder. She tilted her head, confused. "...Simon?"

"Who?"

"Nevermind. Seriously, could you leave? We can fight tomorrow."

"Why would I want to fight you, my love? I have waited for so long to get to you, and now at last I am here!" He sounded incredibly pathetic.

"...What." While she just looked at him, confused and disgusted, Flame Prince walked into the discussion. "Uh... what's going on here?"

"This weirdo thinks we're a couple."

"Oh." He looked at Ice King. "...Seriously? Why would he even-" Thankfully he was a human now, so the ensuing blast of ice, burying him in his entirety, was not as deadly as it could have been. It still caused quite a scare, though.

"Shush, adults are talking."

"Hey!" She snarled at the old man, picking up the first thing she could. It was BMO.

"All right, it looks like you are a little emotional from seeing me at last, it can happen." He raised his hands defensively. "I'll just come back tomorrow, all right? Then we can go on a date? How about a goodbye kiss before I go?" He puckered his lips.

She threw BMO at him and knocked him out cold.

The house went silent for a few seconds, after which Finn arrived. "Oh. Hey, you dealt with him pretty well by yourself." He smiled. "I was a little worried, but it looks like I can beat up evil just as well as a girl."

The two human heroes examined each other, and found that all was well. "You look pretty cute."

"Don't you start that too," Finn groaned. "I already had to deal with a witch thinking that. Also I have a girlfriend."

"Hey, so do I," she defended herself, then stopped when he raised an eyebrow and looked amused. "Uh, I mean, boyfriend. He's over there in the ice. I'm just saying, you're cute. I am allowed to say that."

"Well, thanks." He tried to pick up Ice King, who was pretty heavy. "Ugh, now I will have to drag this weirdo back... this is going to take a while."

"I can help." She came to help him. "I guess your girlfriend can melt down my boyfriend in the meantime?"

"Sure," Flame Princess said, moving inside. "I'll join you at the cave later."

"All right." Fionna grinned at Finn. "Well, looks like the day was saved just fine. High-five!"

They high-fived. And simultaneously, in the world of Ooo, another set of Finn and Fionna high-fived over the unconscious body of the Ice Queen that had crossed over to their world. It was the most awesome high-five either world would ever see.

It was also the last.

Bodies displaced in space and time are dangerously unstable. When split in half, one half tossed over to another world, and touching at the other, gender-swapped half, it results in a backlash of an explosion, powerful enough to incinerate the entire planet and turn it into a burned, lifeless husk. On both the world of Ooo and the world of Aaa, the burning nuclear energy swept over the lands and destroyed everything, all the poor unexpected inhabitants and their houses, the forests and mountains, all was turned to dust.

Then everyone died. The end.


	6. Epilogue

"And that," Princess Bubblegum closed her book, "is why your idea is terrible, Ice King. It could cause everyone in two worlds to die. You would not like that, would you?"

She looked at him, and at the others that were reading the story. Most of them still clearly did not understand much of it, save the explosive ending - especially Finn. Ice King raised his hand. "What if I just... you know, did it for a little while? One quick kiss, then back?"

"No." She glared. "I will have to ask Time Princess to reinforce the borders between dimensions and get rid of the two dungeons, just in case."

"Aww."

They made their leave of the castle. Ice King needed the help of the banana guards: he had kind of forgotten about having "broken up" with PB.

"Oh, Princess Bubblegum?", Flame Princess spoke up, before leaving.

"Yeah?"

"Apology accepted."

She smiled. "Thanks."


End file.
